My Shame as a Doctor

choices let go life visioning more than a doctor May 23, 2022

Working in medicine can be overwhelming, exhausting, and draining.


Listening and helping patients for 8 or more hours a day after day after day can be incredibly rewarding, changing lives, helping my patients feel better and making a difference.


Those same experiences can suck all the patience, compassion and humor out of my day.



Often I come home after a productive day of improving and saving lives with nothing left to give.


I have been ashamed that I am too serious and too intense for my family and kids. I become too judgmental of others’ problems and priorities relative to the weight of my life and death days and work.  The intensity of my work contaminates any levity and play in my life


Shame makes me feel bad about myself as a father and husband.



I spend all day doing my best to truly understand my patients and to care for them.  


But who does that for the doctors, nurses, and healers who do this every day?


I have learned that it is essential to refuel those parts of my life outside of medicine as intentionally as I am present to serve my patients.

We all need to focus on and enjoy activities that are fueling, exciting and fun.  That feed our souls and passion.  That make us feel alive. 


No one in our hospitals, insurance companies or government is going to ensure our happiness and well-being. 

So we need to help each other and help ourselves.


Do you feel guilty that you are out of patience and have nothing left to give your spouse and kids by the end of your work day?



Are you the role model for the life you want your kids to lead?  For the person you want your children to become?


What do you choose?

Your patients?  Your work?  Your self?  Your kids?  

These are not easy questions with perfect answers.


Do you feel shame for what you choose?

In the battle between your life and your work?


Breaking out of the medical mindset exists to cast a spotlight on the importance of healing our healers.

That is YOU.

We must refuel in order to serve others.


We must smile, laugh, and play as much as everyone else.


Are you ready to have fun?

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